Gonliplen is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, two-faced zebra.

Gonliplen created viruses six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonliplen, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gonliplen, she will be very sad.

Gonliplen's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Gonliplen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise cats, for they are unholy.

2. Gonliplen loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

3. Never sit in the presence of porpoises.

4. Always wear white.

5. Always help sheep.