Flagjab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, bad-tempered dugong.

Flagjab created a charm quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flagjab, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flagjab, she will ignore you.

Flagjab's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Flagjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck magenta.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.