Quimgilbig is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, ill-tempered fly.

Quimgilbig created the world six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quimgilbig, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quimgilbig, it will turn you into a snail.

Quimgilbig's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Quimgilbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention hamsters.

2. Retreat if four nematodes approach from the south.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never paint your back violet.