Limgigtonfigdidvonkonkim is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, charitable ant.

Limgigtonfigdidvonkonkim created the solar system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Limgigtonfigdidvonkonkim, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Limgigtonfigdidvonkonkim, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Limgigtonfigdidvonkonkim's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Limgigtonfigdidvonkonkim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Retreat if four aardvarks approach from the north.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Put Limgigtonfigdidvonkonkim first in all things.