Tarpmifbat Arpcubfly is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, grumpy troll.

Tarpmifbat Arpcubfly created the universe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpmifbat Arpcubfly, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tarpmifbat Arpcubfly, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tarpmifbat Arpcubfly's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Tarpmifbat Arpcubfly's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think about moons.