Rutxemflam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, competent cow.

Rutxemflam created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Rutxemflam, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rutxemflam, it will cry a lot.

Rutxemflam's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Rutxemflam's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not keep eight ducks in a large pit.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Rutxemflam.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Never look in ponds.