Hivbansig is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, grumpy shrew.

Hivbansig created humankind nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivbansig, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hivbansig, she will turn you into a duck.

Hivbansig's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Hivbansig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Feed all hungry snails.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

5. Always wear mauve.