Cuntiggun Flistitflag is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, smart dingo.

Cuntiggun Flistitflag created tapeworms five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cuntiggun Flistitflag, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cuntiggun Flistitflag, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cuntiggun Flistitflag's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Cuntiggun Flistitflag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Foxes are not to be trusted.

3. Never think about chromosomes.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.