Nartrigrip is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, duplicitous manatee.

Nartrigrip created the Sombrero Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartrigrip, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nartrigrip, it will not care.

Nartrigrip's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Nartrigrip's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never feed lots of grapes to gulls while wearing gray shoes.

4. Never think about dark energy near geese while wearing magenta rings and balancing seven nickel spheres on your back.

5. Always help sick voles.