Lapgidnig is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, uncaring shrew.

Lapgidnig created the Black Eye Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapgidnig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lapgidnig, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Lapgidnig's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Lapgidnig's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lapgidnig.

3. Always wear black.

4. Never talk about goats.

5. Always treat monkeys with great respect.