Xuckyartnaklib is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, grumpy whale.

Xuckyartnaklib created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xuckyartnaklib, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Xuckyartnaklib, she will turn you into a goat.

Xuckyartnaklib's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Xuckyartnaklib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near ducks while wearing fawn tights and balancing eight silicon spheres on your feet.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Xuckyartnaklib in the centre of the settlement.