Canxenfon is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic shrew.

Canxenfon created an electron two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Canxenfon, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Canxenfon, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Canxenfon's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Canxenfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never feed melons to otters while wearing red scarves.

5. Put Canxenfon first in all things.