Carfuncim is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, effective chicken.

Carfuncim created light six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Carfuncim, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Carfuncim, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Carfuncim's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Carfuncim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Always help turtles.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not speak about tomatoes.