Fastinbudgonveg is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, merciful cow.

Fastinbudgonveg created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fastinbudgonveg, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fastinbudgonveg, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fastinbudgonveg's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Fastinbudgonveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near geese while wearing indigo skirts and balancing seven tin spheres on your arms.

2. Never go into orange rooms.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.