Bossgabpark is a god.

She takes the form of a large, charitable grasshopper.

Bossgabpark created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bossgabpark, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bossgabpark, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bossgabpark's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Bossgabpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant near dogs.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bossgabpark.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Retreat if eight sharks approach from the south.

5. Never look in ponds.