Kompangkam is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, irritating mole.

Kompangkam created the Sol system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kompangkam, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kompangkam, she will ignore you.

Kompangkam's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Kompangkam's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Retreat if three manatees approach from the east.

3. Never run in the presence of tapirs.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Learn five new languages a year.