Apptalgup is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, merciless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Apptalgup created the universe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Apptalgup, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Apptalgup, he will turn you into a goat.

Apptalgup's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Apptalgup's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

3. Apptalgup loves mites, so they must be respected.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Fast once a month.