Flowyattwon is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, selfish hippopotamus.

Flowyattwon created an electron five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowyattwon, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flowyattwon, he will turn you into a goat.

Flowyattwon's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Flowyattwon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never chant in the presence of turtles.

4. Never feed lots of limes to capybaras while wearing orange stockings.

5. Never paint your back blue.