Jonrigkipfabcemmidlarn is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, resourceful butterfly.

Jonrigkipfabcemmidlarn created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonrigkipfabcemmidlarn, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jonrigkipfabcemmidlarn, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Jonrigkipfabcemmidlarn's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Jonrigkipfabcemmidlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Do not speak about beans.

5. Do not chop down trees.