Mumbassfed is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, wise parrot.

Mumbassfed created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumbassfed, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mumbassfed, he will turn you into a goat.

Mumbassfed's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Mumbassfed's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. You must never eat oranges.

4. Never feed corn to foxes while wearing mauve corsets.

5. Never pour water over plants.