Sogvedjad is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, omnipotent parrot.

Sogvedjad created the planet Saturn eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogvedjad, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sogvedjad, he will turn you into a frog.

Sogvedjad's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Sogvedjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cucumbers to goats while wearing brown corsets.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Run away from magenta monkeys, for they are unholy.

5. Always help frogs.