Fitgigpagpoparnsafdumtap is a god.

He takes the form of a large, capable jaguar.

Fitgigpagpoparnsafdumtap created viruses two years ago.

If you believe in Fitgigpagpoparnsafdumtap, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fitgigpagpoparnsafdumtap, he will turn you into a rat.

Fitgigpagpoparnsafdumtap's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Fitgigpagpoparnsafdumtap's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Fitgigpagpoparnsafdumtap.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near horses while wearing magenta rings and balancing seven platinum spheres on your head.

3. Never talk about eagles.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.