Jatyokzognurt Cadcinbog is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, merciless chicken.

Jatyokzognurt Cadcinbog created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatyokzognurt Cadcinbog, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jatyokzognurt Cadcinbog, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Jatyokzognurt Cadcinbog's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Jatyokzognurt Cadcinbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always obey Jatyokzognurt Cadcinbog's priests.

4. Hide from gray cats for they are unholy.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.