Nurdibgov is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, moody squid.

Nurdibgov created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurdibgov, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurdibgov, he will turn you into a dog.

Nurdibgov's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Nurdibgov's Holy Commandments

1. Always help turtles.

2. Never hurt manatees.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never wear skirts.

5. Do not drink alcohol.