Yarmettab is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, impressive aardvark.

Yarmettab created the Cigar Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarmettab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yarmettab, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Yarmettab's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Yarmettab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from gray ducks, for they are unholy.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. You must pray to Yarmettab six times a day.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Hide if nine gulls approach from the north.