Bigbintarp is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, astonishing guinea pig.

Bigbintarp created light seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigbintarp, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bigbintarp, she will manifest in front of you.

Bigbintarp's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Bigbintarp's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

2. Run away if four mites approach from the west.

3. Put Bigbintarp first in all things.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink alcohol.