Tiglib is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, bad-tempered spider.

Tiglib created dark energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiglib, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tiglib, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tiglib's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Tiglib's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Tiglib.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Never think about spacetime near mites while wearing gray trousers and balancing four titanium spheres on your neck.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.