Bimcatmigwap Onthasjighoncanrillvinlib is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, weak swallow.

Bimcatmigwap Onthasjighoncanrillvinlib created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bimcatmigwap Onthasjighoncanrillvinlib, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bimcatmigwap Onthasjighoncanrillvinlib, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Bimcatmigwap Onthasjighoncanrillvinlib's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Bimcatmigwap Onthasjighoncanrillvinlib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Erect eight carbon sculptures of Bimcatmigwap Onthasjighoncanrillvinlib on top of important buildings.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bimcatmigwap Onthasjighoncanrillvinlib.