Barnnadxen Armquagbog Canragdib is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, caring penguin.

Barnnadxen Armquagbog Canragdib created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barnnadxen Armquagbog Canragdib, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Barnnadxen Armquagbog Canragdib, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Barnnadxen Armquagbog Canragdib's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Barnnadxen Armquagbog Canragdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Barnnadxen Armquagbog Canragdib.