Funlarploptag is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, weak goat.

Funlarploptag created a strange quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funlarploptag, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Funlarploptag, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Funlarploptag's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Funlarploptag's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Funlarploptag in the centre of the settlement.

3. Funlarploptag must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not drink alcohol.