Baststikhabmap is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, impressive wyvern.

Baststikhabmap created the Sombrero Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Baststikhabmap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Baststikhabmap, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Baststikhabmap's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Baststikhabmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Never leap in the presence of nematodes.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never eat bark.