Sakbiftettibighitzod is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, cheerful cow.

Sakbiftettibighitzod created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sakbiftettibighitzod, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sakbiftettibighitzod, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Sakbiftettibighitzod's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Sakbiftettibighitzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat limes.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not hurt birds.