Doncar is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, caring dugong.

Doncar created the Sun two billion years ago.

If you believe in Doncar, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Doncar, she will send minions to preach to you.

Doncar's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Doncar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four mice in a large pit.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near tortoises while wearing pink scarves and balancing eight gold spheres on your feet.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Doncar.

4. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.