Kengodfid is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, weak monkey.

Kengodfid created light eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kengodfid, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kengodfid, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Kengodfid's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Kengodfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never chant near voles.

5. Never talk about planets.