Dimnutpib is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, selfish unicorn.

Dimnutpib created the planet Venus two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dimnutpib, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dimnutpib, it will turn you into a rat.

Dimnutpib's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Dimnutpib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Hide if four seals approach from the east.