Flisgarnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, humane crocodile.

Flisgarnurt created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flisgarnurt, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Flisgarnurt, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Flisgarnurt's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Flisgarnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Always help horses in need.

2. Never paint your back turquoise.

3. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Flisgarnurt in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Do not take Flisgarnurt's name in vain.