Gepnell is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, bad-tempered skunk.

Gepnell created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepnell, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gepnell, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Gepnell's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Gepnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near monkeys while wearing blue rings.

2. Never think about special relativity near frogs while wearing pink scarves and balancing six lead spheres on your feet.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not eat aubergines.