Joprilfunwodmot is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, awe-inspiring wren.

Joprilfunwodmot created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Joprilfunwodmot, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Joprilfunwodmot, she will be very sad.

Joprilfunwodmot's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Joprilfunwodmot's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Joprilfunwodmot eight times a day.

2. Do not kill manatees.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Joprilfunwodmot.