Bitgepgenbest is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, intelligent badger.

Bitgepgenbest created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitgepgenbest, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bitgepgenbest, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bitgepgenbest's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Bitgepgenbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near foxes while wearing brown ear rings and balancing four nickel spheres on your back.

2. Never eat bark.

3. You must pray to Bitgepgenbest seven times a day.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.