Timgonbag is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, weak mole.

Timgonbag created the Milkyway eight million years ago.

If you believe in Timgonbag, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Timgonbag, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Timgonbag's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Timgonbag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near foxes while wearing brown corsets and balancing three copper spheres on your neck.

2. You must pray to Timgonbag four times a day.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Timgonbag loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not cook food in pots.