Fitmabmotbab is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, selfish donkey.

Fitmabmotbab created tapeworms two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fitmabmotbab, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fitmabmotbab, she will turn you into a mouse.

Fitmabmotbab's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Fitmabmotbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of oranges to badgers while wearing red scarves.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not dye your hair purple.

5. Learn three new languages a year.