Lipmatbeg is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, impressive dryad.

Lipmatbeg created the solar system three million years ago.

If you believe in Lipmatbeg, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lipmatbeg, she will not invite you to parties.

Lipmatbeg's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Lipmatbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never feed lots of tomatoes to gulls while wearing orange ear rings.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. You must pray to Lipmatbeg six times a day.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.