Zakbepbadpid is a god.

He takes the form of a large, fussy mink.

Zakbepbadpid created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakbepbadpid, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zakbepbadpid, he will turn you into a goat.

Zakbepbadpid's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Zakbepbadpid's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Zakbepbadpid must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Always help sick goats.

5. Do not drink water in orange rooms.