Fagvigdubcabtonk is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, vain gerbil.

Fagvigdubcabtonk created a bottom quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fagvigdubcabtonk, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fagvigdubcabtonk, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fagvigdubcabtonk's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Fagvigdubcabtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Always help great tits in need.

3. Never wear fawn kilts.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fagvigdubcabtonk.

5. Always take life seriously.