Nartmobjam is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, selfish lizard.

Nartmobjam created tapeworms three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nartmobjam, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nartmobjam, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Nartmobjam's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Nartmobjam's Holy Commandments

1. Nartmobjam loves ants, so they must be respected.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Nartmobjam.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always wear blue.

5. Do not covet oxen.