Zakwapjad is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, self-confident pigeon.

Zakwapjad created the Andromeda Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakwapjad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zakwapjad, she will destroy your favourite star.

Zakwapjad's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Zakwapjad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Zakwapjad loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

3. Feed all hungry badgers.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never feed peas to voles while wearing corsets.