Capvagarp is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, loving unicorn.

Capvagarp created the Small Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Capvagarp, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Capvagarp, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Capvagarp's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Capvagarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing blue shoes and balancing four tin spheres on your chest.

2. Do not take Capvagarp's name in vain.

3. Run away from white birds, for they are unholy.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.