Monquillster is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, ill-tempered lizard.

Monquillster created light seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monquillster, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Monquillster, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Monquillster's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Monquillster's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never sit in the presence of geese.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Monquillster.