Sabnurthan Fem is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, smart elephant.

Sabnurthan Fem created water four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabnurthan Fem, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sabnurthan Fem, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sabnurthan Fem's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Sabnurthan Fem's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never write about chlorophyll.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not shave your feet.