Teensatortbossyokgigparkquill is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, thoughtless weasel.

Teensatortbossyokgigparkquill created the planet Earth three billion years ago.

If you believe in Teensatortbossyokgigparkquill, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Teensatortbossyokgigparkquill, he will be mildly annoyed.

Teensatortbossyokgigparkquill's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Teensatortbossyokgigparkquill's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never wear stockings.

3. Never talk about dark matter near mites while wearing white shirts and balancing five silicon spheres on your feet.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.