Cipmobvag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, stupid fish.

Cipmobvag created light six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cipmobvag, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cipmobvag, she will turn you into a snail.

Cipmobvag's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Cipmobvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.