Barnyathogbellzagkarfen is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, quiet finch.

Barnyathogbellzagkarfen created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnyathogbellzagkarfen, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Barnyathogbellzagkarfen, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Barnyathogbellzagkarfen's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Barnyathogbellzagkarfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention cats.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not commit murder.